Butterbean weather service

Let’s see if Bertha can predict the weather.

The truth is, it’s not rocket science—you don’t even need weather science, just a little experience. Actually it is so easy that even I can do it.

I don’t know how much the local channel weather person gets paid for giving us a daily wrap-up and a forecast, but that person doesn’t have to do much work. They can just reread the script from the day before.

Here is the seven-day forecast for pretty much any week this spring. It is probably good up until the end of May. Maybe I will issue another forecast for summer, but don’t get excited. I will have plenty of time to work on it.






I suppose the Butterbean weather service should now explain what this means to you, especially if you are new to Vernal. For one, don’t let the early morning calm fool you. The one constant throughout the week, if you will notice, is the wind. And don’t be fooled by those who say that spring will come soon. There are two seasons in Vernal, winter which lasts about nine months, and summer which is a flash in the pan.

You will be prepared for the late winter weather if you take with you a windbreaker, a kite, a winter coat with a hood, boots with some tread, and materials for tying or weighing things down.

As for grooming during this weather pattern, don’t spend too much time on your hair (asymmetrical hairstyles are helpful since the wind will part your hair for you anyway); carry wipes for cleaning dirt from your face and inside your ears. A small bottle of eye drops for rinsing eyes or contacts lenses should fit nicely into your pocket.

Some precautions: don’t open both car doors at the same time; don’t leave the mail on the dashboard; don’t wear a hat unless you are a fast runner; don’t let go of your two-year-old.

Activities to avoid: model airplane flying, sunbathing, boating or fishing, soccer games, picnics, etc.

Noticeable fashion trends: turned-up collars, beanies for all ages, hoodies with the hoods up, itchy, red eyes.

I would tell you to hang your weather forecast on the fridge or wherever it is you put pertinent information, but you don’t really need to. It isn’t hard to remember what the forecast is, just think of yesterday.