Stop for the bend in the road?

All of you who deign to read the Butterbean rantings know by now that I am not necessarily the most logical tool in the shed. (See what I mean?) I have to ask dumb questions all the time. And I get humiliated by the answers all the time.

Just because I don’t understand something doesn’t mean that everyone else doesn’t. For instance, there are probably people who understand why boys wear their pants so low that they have to hold them up with one hand. I hope they aren’t talking on their cell phones while they are carrying their lunch trays.

So in view of that, (not the pants) can anyone explain to me why there is a stop sign at the corner of 500 South and 3500 West? There needs to be a good reason.

Excuse me, there is not one stop sign, but two of them. One so you will stop before you turn onto 500 South and one to halt you before you turn onto 3500 West.

Did you notice that I said “corner,” not “intersection”? This corner is essentially a bend in the road. There is only one way to proceed and that is around the corner unless you want to get out of your car and walk on the cow trail that continues straight ahead on what would be 500 South if indeed 500 South did continue past 3500 West.

Just in case you are getting a little dizzy, or you are like me, not too facile with your cardinal directions, I have produced in stunning detail, a map of the corner in question:

(Graphic here)




I heard there was a flourishing rabbit den straight ahead, past 3500 West on 500 South, up the hill and around the thistle patch, but I don’t know for sure. Beyond that there may be an anthill and many ant paths, but I don’t think there is an actual road. Some may disagree with me, but I am here to say that 500 South ends at 3500 West and vice versa.

So this is how it goes when I am on my way to Wal-Mart: I am driving south on 3500 West, and I dutifully stop at the stop sign and look both ways. I will be sure to avoid a collision if there is a rabbit careening down the trail from the west. I feel pretty sheepish though, looking off into the sagebrush in search of, I don’t know, a school bus?

And if there is a car approaching the corner on 500 South from the east, the other direction, it will be stopping for I-still-don’t-know-what since any rabbits should be in the other lane and not pose a threat. That other lane is wide enough for a bunny after all. It certainly doesn’t need to stop for me since I am already stopped and busily looking both ways. I probably create more hazards parking there wondering what I am waiting for than if I just made the turn, merged in behind the rabbits and continued on my way.

Well, I still keep thinking someone knows something that I don’t. Maybe this is the intersection from Jumanji, which might be the name of that movie about mad elephants running loose.