Guys are channeled in to run the remote

My daughter keeps telling me that men can't multitask. Of course she can do about seven things at once and do them all well, while her husband is the kind of guy who wants to finish one thing before he moves on to the next.

Usually, I am inclined to agree with her.. After all she can do more things at one time than I can, which makes her an expert of some kind. She could probably run the IRS which is now saddled with more than one task and Medicare besides.

But I want to know how many guys out there are just topting out? Perhaps they insist that they can't watch the cookies in the oven and watch the kids at the same time because they don't want to. One thing I have noticed—and I'm not alone here—is that they are capable of watching more than they admit to.

To prove it, I need only hand a guy the television remote control. Suddenly he can watch up to twenty channels of television at one time. If managing that many programs at once requires two or even three remotes, he is still up to the task. A remote control in the hands of a man is actually quite something to behold.

Men mullti-channel-watch by changing the channel the instant something boring happens, like for instance, two people start to converse. Women on the other hand are tuned in to conversations. They can pick up across a crowded room what a man couldn't hear said on his own TV with the volume at ----19----, simply because they are moving up the channel list faster than the actress can say “I've been meaning to tell you something….” They can punch channel numbers faster than a good stenographer can type “all goo
d men.”

Not only do all women like to hear a good conversation, they want to tune in to only one of them at a time. (Guys, that is what they make DVR for—so o you can record the channels you aren't watching at present, and thereby allow the rest of the family to have a television experience as well.)

Of course the guys in charge of the remotes are over-the-top remote-adept because they practice a lot. In fact there isn't a prayer that another member of the family, regardless of age or gender, will ever catch up in remote skills until he has “control” of his own television. “Control” is the operative word here.

A man with a remote in his hand is a control-freak. However, give him credit; perhaps he doesn't think about control in the sense that he thinks he knows what the rest of us should watch on TV. Instead, I think he has mental images of those twenty channel's incoming signals all zinging toward him at once, and he with his little brown box is able to sort, organize and manage all of them at once, something like catching bullets with his bare hands—no, more like a Ninja fighter brandishing his sword, uh, his clicker.

Women are not wired to produce those sorts of mental images, so they surrender the remote to whomever gets the biggest kick out of controlling it, which is why they themselves never learn to use it.

My problem is that once in a great while, my remote controlling guy is out of range, which leaves me alone with a panoply of remotes that I haven't the faintest how to use. I am working on it though. I bought my own “simple-to-use, big-numbers, glow-in-the-dark universal remote. I have been trying to program it for over a week though.

So, sisters out there, in order to get the guys to watch the cookies and the kids, you are going to need two more remotes. One for the oven and one for the kids. If any of you find a way to get them programmed, remember whose idea it was.