How to get out of school shopping

When I was a kid, there was no such thing as school shopping. Instead there was a brief (about twenty minutes) and mild concern over whether a kid had a paid of shoes that were suitable for school (broadly speaking).

But things have changed since then and there seems to be a prevailing notion that stores close on the first day of school and will not open again until it is time for that other buying institution, Christmas shopping.

And so there is the ceremonious and stress-ridden rush to buy everything a pupil may need for the whole school year and put it away for the first day of school, which incidentally is probably the only day of school said pupil will be excited about it anyway.

But you don’t have to fall for it. I have been out to the stores on the first day of school more than once, and they were all open.

School shopping as an institution and the myth about the stores closing
forever is perpetuated by kids who are just trying to get more goods out of you, and the marketing industry which is trying to get more money out of you.

So don’t get excited—at least not about buying clothing and supplies. (Save that excitement for the really good things about the first day of school like the few hours of quiet that you will be able to enjoy.)

If you think the school shopping system is an institution you will have a hard time bucking, never fear, Bertha Butterbean is here, and she was a pro at finagling her way out of new wardrobes and such. Here is how you hold out against all the pressure:

1. Remember that on the first day of school the sun comes up and goes down as usual, in fact is it just another day, not even printed in red on the calendar.

2. Remember that your kid can only wear ONE outfit on the first day of
school He doesn’t need five new outfits for the first day.

3. Remember that the stores will be open on the first day of school, and the day after that and the day after that.

4. Remember that it is still summer weather when your kids become pupils. Remind them that only government offices, and not schools, are air conditioned. Stress the parts about turning red-faced and sweating which no self-respecting student ever wants to do. The point is that they can wear their summer clothes for a few more weeks, and their classmates will wish they were cool and comfortable like your kids will be.

5. Remind your children that is isn’t cool to show up on the first day looking like they never got any new clothes during the whole summer. It is better to wear something not quite new than to go looking like their social calendars had nothing on them during vacation.

6. You might also be able to convince the kids that they don’t want to go looking like they live for school.

7. A little persuasion may convince them further to hold off on the shopping until they see what everyone else is wearing. They, especially the girls, wouldn’t want to get caught in an outfit just like someone else has.

And now we come to the objective of the whole exercise. If you can contrive to get your students through the first week of school without actually buying new clothes for them, you’ve got it made. After that, everyone’s clothes are old anyway, and no one will know the difference.