Olympic gold--is it worth it?

I guess that having the Olympic Games is good for world unity. And I guess it’s good that the athletes have a chance to be on the “world’s stage” and make history. You don’t have to be in Beijing to see them do it either.

With television coverage, the internet, and a few other media formats, you can “be there” while all of this Olympic history happens, live or delayed by only a little bit.

There’s a problem with all of this up-close-and-personal participation, though. It’s the kids. I now have about ten Olympic hopefuls—grandchildren who have picked their sports, set their goals and begun practicing the duly required number of hours per day. It’s driving everyone crazy though.

Some of their sports require complicated and expensive equipment, the kind that is only to be found in Olympic training centers. But that doesn’t stop them. They improvise. And they help each other.

For instance, the two-year old thinks that he is now a springboard diver. Yes, he got to practice his skills at the pool. It was great. Mom was there to catch him and of course he didn’t drown. He is getting the “double-lean, two-and-a-half hesitation crouch” down pretty well. He could stand to work on his entry, though. It’s not too clean yet.

Okay and all, but his parents aren’t yet ready to make the commitment that can take him to the next level. They need some more time to decide whether they want to change their place of residence to the rec center swimming pool.

So, during the interim, he has to practice at home. His improvised diving board is the couch which has plenty of spring, and he works out on it every chance he gets.

During one session, he watched the TV closely while a diver took a flying leap. and then he “copied” the dive. He showed good elevation and nice form for the first try. But it’s the entry; he still needs to work on the entry.

He suffered his first sports-related injury, and took a trip to the doctor, during which visit his form and sportsmanship were terrible, but I am sure he will be back in training in a couple of weeks, after the brace comes off the ankle.

Another grandchild caught the first-ever BMX bike racing Olympic event. “Now that looks like a sport!” She and her friend became the dynamic duo of the neighborhood. (They are eight now. By 2012 they should look old enough to compete.)

So they improvised with the gear for that, too. They used boards on the curbs for jumps. For their protective clothing, they dug helmets out of the closet and found their winter coats, snow boots, snow pants and mittens. Their mothers’ volleyball kneepads and some swimming goggles completed the cover-up.

Now I don’t know whether real bmx clothing has its own built-in cooling system, but the ninety-degree temperatures last week made it pretty difficult for the two of them to get in much training before they had to stop for water and a cool-down. In fact, a couple of times around the track like that and they were done with the gear.

About that time a third Olympic trainee needed a board to hold down his soccer net. So the BMXers, sans gear, crash and burn when they next shoot the curb. I could understand that accident if they still had their goggles on. The last I heard were these words: “Waaaaaaaaah. No, don’t clean it.”

Not long after that, the soccer hopeful slide tackles the board behind his net and thereafter needs medical assistance in the form of a few stitches to hold his knee together.

The “Olympic phenomena,” which is Butterbean for the increased incidence of visits to the ER during the month of August on leap years, sort of gives a whole new meaning to the term “Olympic Gold.” Dad may have to pawn his watch to pay the medical bills.