Time out! What year is it?

I read once that an optimist is someone who stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist, on the other hand, stays up to make sure the old year leaves. That sounds about right. Think of the people you know. You can probably peg most of them right off.

There may be a few people crossing the aisles this year though. “Optimistic” might have to be reserved for those who think they will not be consigning most of their assets to someone else this year.

Whoever made that observation, however, forgot to categorize the rest of us—the ones who go to bed at 10 p.m. as usual. Something like the nonplayers or the bed-is-better-yet set.

I’m usually one of those people. I might have a drink of sparkling apple juice before retiring, but watching the ball fall down on Time Square is overrated. By the way, I do not get the significance of dropping a ball to bring in the new year. If anyone does, let me know. I guess they can’t drop a baby, but why drop anything?

I pay a price for not staying up to witness the last calendar page of the old year come off the wall though. I apparently need that and any other assistance I can get to help my mind register the fact that we have crossed the great time divide and that it is time to switch years..

Getting my time-warped brain to leave the old year behind is a struggle. Not only will I write “2009” on every date line I fill out for at least six months, but I will write “December” or “12” on everything for at least two weeks. Getting the month switched over is easier. It was only December for a month, and I only used “December” for half of it anyway.

I will spend a while longer trying to figure out “2010.” When a person makes a mistake in writing numbers, he can sometimes save all by altering them—a three to an eight, a one to a seven or a four, maybe even a five to an eight, but it is pretty difficult to change “09” to “10.” You end up with hieroglyphics.

Last year I could start out writing “08” on my check, and if I came to before I got the second digit written or even if it were half done, it could still be changed into a respectable “09.”

But this January, I will have to wake up before I start writing or I will be stuck with something like calligraphy for “dum-dum” instead of “2010.” The term “Chinese New Year” could take on a whole new meaning.

And typing the new year, “10” instead of” 09”, will probably be quite a stumbler. I was typing “09” for a whole year, too (well, not strictly.) Typing the new year is going to require using both hands instead of one. That will take some getting used to and will probably reduce the wpm considerably, especially if I have to think what year it is and then think how to type it right after I think what month it is. Three thoughts in a row without a pause could constitute a total breakdown

Maybe this New Year’s Eve I should try to wait up, bang a few pans, tear off the calendar page, and make sure the old year leaves and takes all of his symbols with him.