A few good things

Okay, I have reached the age where guys don't whistle at me anymore. Well, possibly they never did that much, but reaching that numerical stature is still a tough pill to swallow along with my Tylenol Arthritis and my glucosamine.

My once-attractive eyes are now peering out from behind trifocals, and they don't help me see a whole lot better. And any physical activity I try to engage in is now done in one vertical plane (flat on the ground) and at one speed—slow.

You know the list. You've heard over and over about all of the disadvantages of growing older.

Just in case you are my age and your stomach hurts, you can't sleep at night, and you don't look as good as you used to, I have a little list to help you get over it.

Good things about being an older lady, little or not (besides getting senior prices at restaurants):
-Someone will always get the door for you.
-People don't swear at you when you cut them off—not out loud at least.
-No one expects your makeup to be on straight.
-No one crowds in front of you at the grocery store.
-You aren't expected to wear high heels.
-People would be surprised if you were “in style.”
-The bank is more apt to forgive you if you bounce a check.
-There doesn't have to be method to your madness.
-You don't have to be technologically savvy.
-Your clothes don't have to match particularly well.
-You can be excused for forgetting birthdays.
-And randomly, teenagers don't throw you overboard when you go rafting.

If you are not sure whether you are technically due some of the advantages of older age, you can tell you are in the perked-up age bracket if you can remember 78RPM records, Black Jack chewing gum, mimeographed paper, S&H Green Stamps, roller skate keys, and soda pop machines that dispensed bottles.

Remembering these aforementioned perks can make being an older woman is a little easier. You understand, of course, that being an older woman is not the same as being a little old lady. I am industriously working on not becoming one of those. If I have to learn to accept that fate, it will be later on—much later on.

In the meantime, this nice young man is going to help me across the street.