How the fish in Western waters got bigger

Among my family members and acquaintances there are a lot of fisherpersons. At least there are a lot of persons who go through the motions

If buying fishing gear makes a fisherman, they qualify. They buy lures and plugs and vests and boats and motors and rods and finders and cheese.

If spending time makes a fisherman, they qualify. They will take week-long backpacking trips to do nothing but fish. They will stand on a river bank for hours. They will pull a boat for four hours in order to fish for one.

If making the effort constitutes a fisherman, they qualify. They will carry a full pack for miles to reach the best holes. They will plan a fishing trip for weeks.
If sacrifice makes a fisherman, they qualify. They will jeopardize a promising relationship with a significant other if they can just stop and fish “this one more hole.” They will stand out on the ice in hell frozen over until they don't know whether they still have fingers and toes.

The only trouble is, I am not sure that any of them have actually ever catch fish. They never show up with meat for the table. I see not so much as a fish scale to prove that they are actually fisherpersons.

I realize that there has been a revolution in the sport of fishing. I guess I have known about it for years now. Actually, I don't know why they still call it fishing. They should just call it catch-and-releasing. What it all means is that fisherpersons don't have to bring home the evidence anymore. You've heard the story about the really big one that got away…well, now they all get away, and they are all big.

I think that Catch and Release is supposed to be a conservation measure which is applauded by wildlife enthusiasts. I'm not sure I understand the exact objectives of the policy, The only actual firsthand knowledge I have comes from years of laundering Catch and Release tee-shirts. But if the policy is meant to allow the fish in Western waters to grow bigger, it is working. Just ask any fisherperson.

But you can't catch Bertha so easily with that one. I don't fall for those stories hook, line and sinker, you know. As far as I'm concerned, 11-lb. trout don't exist. These people are going to need more than fish stories to convince me.

Oh, I have seen lots of fish on lots of camera phones, but the fishy thing is, they all look like the same fish to me. Or I get to see a part of a fish which doesn't share the frame with anything that could be used for reference since the fisherman has to hold the fish with one hand and click the phone with the other, like when he is doing his phone ID photo.

A real snapshot might carry a little more weight. But 11 lbs. worth, I don't know. If you ask me, it is difficult to document the actual size of a slippery, wiggling fish. Fish just don't hold still and say “cheese” while you do it. They are busy regretting the cheese. Besides that, I know all about Photoshopping.

As with the enactment of many government policies, I think there were unintended consequences with the Catch and Release program. I'll bet conservationists had no idea that the fish in targeted waters would increase in size so rapidly.