The portable power problem

A couple of years ago I wrote an article about batteries in which I concluded that “if I couldn’t spell, I would think that “battery” is a four-letter word. It seems to me that they are the weak link in the universe.”

My grandson, who is my biggest fan, maybe the only one, wanted me to rewrite this article for one reason. He has the best actual example of the deficiencies of batteries that I have heard of.

Part of the article went like this:

With my cell phone, my iPod and my digital camera, I could possibly be described as a techno minimalist. Since there is a whole array of portable electronic devices such as laptops, notebooks, Bluetooths (or is plural Blueteeth?) Blackberrys (Blackberries?), Iphones and gaming devices that I don’t own or even know precisely what they do, I am not anything like a junkie. It’s a good thing.” (I have since acquired a tablet, only because I can't see much on a smart phone display.)

Do you know how many connectors/chargers it takes to run the few devices that I do have? I would hate to try keeping any more little black wires than I have now untangled and together with their devices. And don’t try to kid me; “wireless” does not mean that a device comes without any.

But worse than that, since all of these devices are portable, they all have batteries that have to be charged using one or more of those little black wires.

Think of it—my iPod could conceivably hold enough music to play non-stop for more than a week, which seems over the top considering I would have to charge it’s battery several times for it to play every piece. Suddenly, the thing is not so portable after all. You can’t get too far away from its home computer or its cradle, not without packing up its contingent of wires.

My daughter’s laptop does amazing things, but it needs to charge for two hours so she can use it for one. That seems upside down to me.

And right here is where my grandson's example fits in: “My dad's laptop was plugged in for 2½ years and went dead in three minutes.” This kid is pretty literal and is uncomfortable with exaggeration.

I am not the only one who recognizes the limitations of current batteries. This same kid was invited to go to a workshop for students who are intellectually gifted. One of the instructors challenged the kids there to come up with a better battery, i.e., batteries are lousy.

And then I went on to say that cell phones are even more dysfunctional than that. (I am not uncomfortable with exaggeration.) However, their batteries are weak (pun). They discharge even when you don’t use them. Did cell phone engineers say to one another, “I know how we can make a portable phone, and if we try really hard, maybe we can make a battery that will stay charged for a couple of days.”? If I were one of those engineers, I would be pushing for a month, minimum.

And if you think that digital cameras are going to be carefree, you are wrong. You have to worry about their batteries. Don’t expect to pick up your camera after a week and find that it will make pictures. It might not even turn on. What good is a pocket-sized camera on vacation if you have to bring along a backpack full of batteries to run it?

Electronics engineers try to get around the battery problem by creating bells, beeps, lights and bars to warn you that your batteries are about to die, but usually, before you can hook up the respirator, they’re dead.

Does anyone besides me want to step on the Energizer Bunny? If someone ever finds a solution for the weak link of the universe and invents a battery with some real lasting power, I hope I am related to him/her. Can you imagine?

The agreement is this: if I rewrite the battery article, my grandson (related to me) has to work on the battery problem.